BLOOPERS

Here I collect verbatim, but with any identifying information removed, those passages in job descriptions and resumes that are simply too good to keep to myself. If you find a good one, send it along, I'll post it here.

Job Description Bloopers

From the requirements section in the job description of a US company:

• ...
• Must be able to communicated extremely well verbally and written.
• ...

Do you really think they want to give the new hire this broad a canvas?

• ...
• Proven track record of delivering results without requiring supervision.
• ...

Resume Bloopers

This is the one that launched this page:

• XXX XXX XXX, Inc in Sunnyvale, CA
  12 Years work from January 1989 to April 2001
  Owner, generated a successful sub contracting business in new construction which included plumbing, heating/air conditioning and fire sprinkler installation through out the Bay area and San Francisco.
• XXX Companies in Riverside, CA
  7998 Years work from May 2001 to December 9999

"...which utilizes my kills in computer architecture, DSP..."

From Cover Letters

"... I am eager to match your training and abilities to your needs. ..."

Department of Unusual Greetings:

"Dear Company Plenipotentiary,"

This is repeated verbatim, and constitutes the entire cover letter. It's not so much a blooper, but is in a class by itself:

Hi,
I am told I am a "world-class" audio engineer and developer.
Check me out. I am expensive.

Make sure your data base program works. One cover letter started out like this:

Date

Contact Name
Title
Company Name
Address
City, State, ZIP

Dear [Name]:

It is with a great deal of enthusiasm that I submit this letter of
interest for the [position title] position at [company name]. I have...

On a More Serious Note

I've put together some other recommendations for job candidates. There is also a list of currently available job descriptions.