BLOOPERS

Here I collect verbatim, but with any identifying information removed, those passages in job descriptions and resumes that are simply too good to keep to myself. If you find a good one, send it along, I'll post it here.

Job Description Bloopers

From the requirements section in the job description of a US company:

• ...
• Must be able to communicated extremely well verbally and written.
• ...

Do you really think they want to give the new hire this broad a canvas?

• ...
• Proven track record of delivering results without requiring supervision.
• ...

Resume Bloopers

This is the one that launched this page:

• XXX XXX XXX, Inc in Sunnyvale, CA
  12 Years work from January 1989 to April 2001
  Owner, generated a successful sub contracting business in new construction which included plumbing, heating/air conditioning and fire sprinkler installation through out the Bay area and San Francisco.
• XXX Companies in Riverside, CA
  7998 Years work from May 2001 to December 9999

"...which utilizes my kills in computer architecture, DSP..."

From Cover Letters

Does this writer have "California Dreamin'"?

"Subject: Resume For San Minneapolis"

This one contributed by my colleague EAG:

"... I am eager to match your training and abilities to your needs. ..."

Department of Unusual Greetings:

"Dear Company Plenipotentiary,"

This is repeated verbatim, and constitutes the entire cover letter. It's not so much a blooper, but is in a class by itself:

Hi,
I am told I am a "world-class" audio engineer and developer.
Check me out. I am expensive.

Make sure your data base program works. One cover letter started out like this:

Date

Contact Name
Title
Company Name
Address
City, State, ZIP

Dear [Name]:

It is with a great deal of enthusiasm that I submit this letter of
interest for the [position title] position at [company name]. I have...

On a More Serious Note

I've put together some other recommendations for job candidates. There is also a list of currently available job descriptions.